Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy Valentine's Day... no, not really.

Valentines' Day is the "Lifetime Channel" of phony holidays and observances. While on the surface it has long seemed a fairly benign and harmless "celebration", it is in fact a day of grand and unrelenting nuisance; guilt; and panic. Men with better things to do, everywhere in America, have to scramble like idiots to show their wives and girlfriends that they "care" with some overpriced piece of crap, or an overpriced piece of jewelry (jewelry: the height of decadent thoughtless uselessness in our modern age) .
The result is always some manner of browbeating, since some man, some where, will always do something more "thoughtful" (i.e. more expensive) for his woman, making all other gifts look like sculpted excrement by comparison.

Just hope and pray his girlfriend doesn't know your girlfriend.

If I appear bitter or cynical, I assure you the phoniness of Valentine's Day is not its only flaw, and not its worst aspect and consequence. Not by a long shot.
The reckless, inconsiderate, wanton consumerism that Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, Father's Day and all those other "days" (especially Christmas) inspire is one of the many forces in this industrial age that is shoving this planet's ecosystems to an uninhabitable state for human beings. Bullshit you say? -Think about all the junk populating landfills.
Valentine's Day after Valentine's Day, the countless miles of red fabric, red wrapping paper, heart-shaped boxes etc. accumulate. Add to that, the tonnage of garbage in cards, candy wrappers, keychains and other empty testimonies of affection made of plastics that won't ever be recycled and won't degrade for 1,000 years in many cases. -Then add the obligatory gifts from all the other holidays and it's amazing our landfills don't have their own flags, ambassadors and embassies.
As far as jewelry is concerned, I can't think of a worst way to show a woman you love her, than to give her a piece of arbitrarily overvalued material (think how little gold and diamonds would be worth if they were as ubiquitous and commonplace as sand), -material that has so much violence and exploitation inherent in its procurement and manufacture that it's surprising not to see human blood caked over the box it comes in.
If Valentine's Day does mean something to you, I would suggest you do something meaningful together outside of the house and create a lasting, profound and personal memory between you. Spend some time on it. Think about it. Yes, I know, it's much harder than going to Macy's. I know any man out there can think of a better gift for the woman in his life than the prepackaged garbage-to-be merchandise available in department stores...

...or just buy her a hallmark card, a heart-shaped box of chocolates and a gold chain. Yeah, let's see how mother Earth recovers from that foot in her ass.
Happy Valentine's Day.


1 comment:

Mycue23 said...

And Valentine's Day isn't even a holiday. It's like Halloween. The bottom line is that if I don't have the day off, it ain't a holiday.