Friday, March 07, 2008

Blame Canada!

The recent NAFTA-gate episode, with it's charges and counter charges has been more than a distraction in the Democratic primary. It may have helped Hillary Clinton to a larger than expected (by they press) victory in the Ohio primary. I received this email from a friend in Canada (let's just call her Patty) and thought this was an appropriate place to share it:

"The front section of the NYTimes has an article about the Trade Pact Controversy (by Ian Austen), that begins with 'Canada is in a tizzy.' A what? A tizzy? Haven't we suffered enough humiliation without being referred to as 'tizzyers'. Our tizzyness has been our own private secret for a long time, but now there it is in the NY Times - Canada is a country that tizzies. And let's not overstate this - we aren't in a conniption. Rare is the occasion to cause the kind of countrywide tizzy-frenzydness that would put us out of a state of tizzy and smack in the middle of a conniption. Oh the tizzy. The whipped-up emotional state of the anemic."

"Before this escalates even further, Canada needs to just 'man up' and apologize. We, your neighbours who live above you, are sorry we sprung a leak all over your primaries. 'Someone who shall remain nameless' forgot to put the plug in, and soaked your caucuses. We can't promise it won't happen again. But we can promise that if it does, we will come forward immediately and point a finger at someone else. An 'underling' who works in a Canadian office outside of Canada, so they won't be held to any real public scrutiny. In the meantime, parliament is enacting a bill to build a dam along the Canada/US border, to help stop the leaks from springing up willy nilly. Blast the cost! We must stop leaking all over our good neighbours to the South - if it means that every Canadian woman, man and child must bag sand until the November US election, shoring our great shared lands and waterways against the stream of drips that are finding their way across the border. Cause if it happens again, a Canadian tizzy will most definitely ensue! And nobody wants that."
"Oh Canada."

Canada may just be our last best hope for real political satire.

No comments: