Friday, August 01, 2008

The One

According to the McCain campaign, Barack Obama has a big head. How dare he say things like, "We've got a good shot to win", or "We are the change we've been waiting for". Arrogance is what they say it is, sheer arrogance. I mean it's not like he's one of the two people remaining in contention for the job or anything. It's not like even trying to attain the position of leader of free world requires someone with a massive ego. No that's just silly and someone as humble and down to earth as McCain is rightfully upset at what he sees in his opponent. I mean he talked to farmers in Iowa about Arugula for God sake (of course he was talking to arugula farmers at the time, but let's not quibble about the details). He's not the kind of guy you want to have a beer with, unlike John McCain. Obama went to Harvard Law School. You know what that means. He was the editor of the Law Review. John McCain finished 5th from the bottom of his graduating class. Now that's the kind of person that we can all relate to. Someone who strives for mediocrity is exactly who we want running this country. Oh, he may not be the smartest guy in the room, but at least he's not lauding his superior intellect over everybody.

Obama doesn't care about the average man and woman. I mean, how could he. Did you know that his house cost over $1 million! What an outrage. The fact that John McCain and his wife own multiple multi million dollar properties and travel around Arizona in a private jet (because as Cindy says, it's the only way to get around Arizona), doesn't mean that he isn't a man of the people. John McCain is as humble as they come and he cares about people. Look at how he takes care of his disabled wife. Not Cindy, I mean his first wife, who became disabled in a car accident while he was a POW. He cared so much about her that when he got home, he eventually started having an affair with Cindy, got a divorce and married his $100 million heiress a month later just barely after the ink dried. Now if that doesn't show what a man of the people he is, I don't know what does.

John McCain is a war hero. That Barack Obama was probably here getting high and engaging in free love while McCain was a POW. Never mind the fact that during the Summer of Love, Obama was barely out of Kindergarten. Obama is such an arrogant ass that he actually went on a trip to the Middle East and Europe and had the nerve to meet with the leaders of the countries that he visited as if he were already the President. Never mind the fact that McCain took a similar trip and met with essentially the same people earlier this year. McCain did it as a humble Senator and presumptive nominee of the Republican party, Obama did it as a SENATOR and the PRESUMPTIVE NOMINEE of the Democratic party. See the difference. That smug prick.

Obama's got some nerve. Clearly John McCain deserves the presidency. Why is Obama even contesting the point? He's got to learn some humility. He's got to learn that his place is behind McCain. McCain is one of the people. McCain is the real American (even though he wasn't born in America). Obama has to learn that people who look like him and have a name like he does, shouldn't be running for President and they certainly shouldn't be presuming that they actually have a chance to win the job. A chance to win? Ha, ha. I have to laugh at the audacity (that's right I'll use Obama's own words against him) of someone as out of touch with the people as Obama thinking that they have a chance to win. Let's all teach him a lesson this November. Let's show him that WE THE PEOPLE would rather have a President who is humble. We'd rather have a President who finished in the bottom 1% of his graduating class. We'd rather have a President who left his disabled wife for a much younger and much richer model. We'd rather have a President who travels around his home state by private jet. We'd rather have a President who call his wife a c t in public. We'd rather have a President who can't tell the difference between the Muslim factions in the Middle East. But he's definitely not arrogant. Take that Obama! Take that and smoke it along with all your Muslim terrorist buddies! You conceited, condescending, narcissistic jackass.

1 comment:

Sandy Jimenez said...

I’ve stopped laughing barely long enough to respond. …
This is all bullshit. But what’s the difference anyway? I remember when GW Bush ran against two veterans who actually served in the military, generally a big positive in a candidate's favor; Americans were manipulated into seeing everything backwards.
Our current president, George W. Bush, (who got to play dress-up on an air-base in Texas and act like the rich spoiled drunken brat everybody knew at Yale University), somehow passed himself off as a Vietnam veteran during the last two elections. I hate to think that at any point America’s National Guard depended on the likes of George W. Bush. I have two friends in the National Guard… They’re currently in Iraq.
Al Gore refused the option of signing up for the National Guard, choosing instead to volunteer for the United States Army, enlisting for two years.
John Kerry is a decorated veteran, who saw actual combat, but he tossed his medals in protest, -so I guess that makes his service void.
Too many of my fellow Americans still buy into the lie that George W. Bush is an average American. He is the son of a President. He is a Yaley. He was a goldbrickin’ C+ student. He was born rich. His folksiness and “average joe” act is as much of a sham as his reputation as a veteran of war.
Ironically, John McCain’s military record has never been in question, so when George W. Bush ran against him for the Republican nomination, Karl Rove opted for spreading rumors and conducting push polls implying that McCain had a child out of wedlock (possibly of another race!!! How scandalous!!!). That was pretty fuckin’ low, and it made me very, very angry that they would do that to another Republican, especially someone who had conducted himself with the evenhandedness and dignity that John McCain historically had.
But John McCain's circle of advisers seem to have learned some valuable, albeit sinister lessons from that campaign against George W. Bush and that infernal character assassination machine: perceptions trump reality in American politics, even if said reality is already known.
So I guess it’s a good thing Obama was too young to serve in Vietnam because it would be used against him. In America, actual military service can be “swift-boated” out of the historical record and out of the minds of the American people at the pleasure and whim of somebody like Karl Rove… with something as flimsy as a paid commercial.
At least I won’t have my intelligence insulted in quite the same way again this time. There are entirely new and astoundingly ridiculous claims coming from the GOP propaganda machine: Barack Obama can’t relate to the average American and his problems… but John McCain, an admiral’s son married to a rich heiress who flies around on a private jet can… Hot damn, I think I’m ready to laugh again.
-SJ